Emotions versus Feelings versus Mood
It may be a little odd to acknowledge, but emotions and feelings are not the same thing. They are largely misunderstood and taught to be similar if not identical by people who simply do not know better. Understanding the difference will be one of the best tools to have at hand when facing your own emotions and feelings. Ultimately reducing emotional avoidance.
Emotions begin as a physical response and it is instinctive. These emotions are shared by the majority of people. They are designed to react to danger and joyful situations. Assisting us in staying alert and prepared. Hence the sensation in our bodies. Feeling as light as air when you are happy or acutely aware of your surroundings when there is danger. Emotions are necessary for us to evaluate the world around us.
Feelings are a personal experience. They are the interpretations of your surroundings and emotions based on past experiences. Each one of us has different feelings that will help us navigate a difficult or exciting situation. Feelings are something we can use to respond to a situation positively, negatively or adaptively. Often feelings can be distorted and blur the truth of a situation.
A mood is a state of mind or a general feeling that can influence your thoughts, behaviours, and actions. For instance, being in a bad mood might cause you to react negatively and ultimately distort your feelings and emotions. Moods are influenced by the environment, diet, exercise, physical health, and what you choose to think about. The duration can vary depending on the person and whether or not the environment, diet or other influence has been removed or changed.
Valuable Exercises
To better deal with emotions, and prevent repressing them, try the following exercises.
1. Notice and name your emotions
When you notice a change in how you feel, you can use these moments to pause and name the emotion that has been triggered. Imagine you are on a balcony observing cars come and go. Just as you may name the different car models as they pass, you can start to practice observing your emotions from a distance as they come and name them.
This can help you bring clarity to your emotional world, which can often be confusing and messy. Learning mindfulness techniques can be fundamental in helping you develop the skills to pay attention to what you are experiencing in the present moment without judging or getting upset with yourself and your emotions.
2. Breathe
When our emotions are triggered, our body changes, and often our breathing changes with it. For example, if you are angry, your breathing can become faster and shallow. This change in the body sends the brain a message that ‘something is wrong, and you need to do something about it.’
It can be hard to think in a moment of intense emotion, and instead, we can intentionally shift our focus from our thoughts to our bodies. You can purposely use your breath to calm down your body, helping to calm your thoughts.
You can start with a simple practice of breathing in for a count of four, holding it for one second, breathing out for a count of four, holding it for one second, and starting again. Using the breath can be a powerful and convenient tool as our breath is always with us.
Try Square Breathing
Square breathing (also known as “box breathing”) is a technique for deep breathing, which has been shown to help relax the nervous system.
Deep breathing helps aid the body in many functions such as:
Calming and regulating the nervous system
Help the body cope with stress
Ease panic and worry
Bring more oxygen to the body
Tips:
If 4 seconds for each side of the square is too much, you can use 2 or 3 to help you get the hang of it!
Try saying the numbers in your head if it is hard to find the beat
Get comfortable! It is easier to relax and breathe when your body is in a relaxed and comfortable position.
3. Express your emotions with yourself and others
Taking a moment to check in with how you are feeling and expressing yourself can be healthy. This may prevent emotions from building up over time if they are left unaddressed.
Journaling, drawing, and painting can all be effective means of emotional expression. You may also choose to express your emotions with people in your life whom you trust and feel safe with.
This can allow you to become more comfortable expressing emotions with yourself and with others. In turn, this may enable others to feel more comfortable opening up to you, which can enrich the quality and intimacy of your relationships.
While it is possible to learn how to cope with negative emotions, it may be challenging to do it alone, particularly if you learned to repress your emotions in the context of unresolved and challenging life experiences.